How To Increase Joy in Your Life This New Year

The New Year tends to arrive with a lot of pressure.

New goals. New habits. New routines. New you.

Everywhere you look, you’re told that this is the moment to finally fix what’s "wrong"—to optimize your life, improve yourself, and become some "upgraded" (read: thinner, more organized, more productive, more disciplined) version of yourself.

And listen—growth can be wonderful. Change can be meaningful. As a therapist, I obviously believe in the power of transformation.

But also? You’re not broken or something that needs to be fixed.

So what if this year didn’t start with a list of things you need to change, but with curiosity about what already brings you back to yourself?

What if your New Year's resolution wasn’t about becoming someone different, but about increasing more of what already helps you feel joyful, grounded, and like you?

A Gentler Question for the New Year

Instead of asking:

“What needs to change about me?”

Try asking:

“Where does joy already show up—and how can I invite more of it?”

Joy leaves clues.

It’s in the moments where your shoulders drop. The activities where time passes quickly. The people you feel more like yourself around. The routines that feel grounding rather than draining.

This year doesn’t need a total overhaul. It needs more attunement to what is already good in your life. Here's how to do that.

1. Notice What Makes You Feel Most Like You

Joy doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it whispers. It might sound like:

“Ahhh.

“I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

“I feel more like myself again.”

Pay attention to moments when you feel like you can release any tension you've been holding, your breath deepens, or your brain stops running twelve tabs at once.

What can you easily get lost in because it's so enjoyable and safe to your system? What helps your inner flame burn brighter?

Maybe it’s:

• Walking outside without any distractions

• Rereading your favorite book

• Watching a show that makes you laugh without making you think

• Scream-singing along to your favorite album in the car

• Being around that one friend you don’t have to explain yourself to

• Indulging in a hobby (even if no one else "gets" it)

Important note: None of these need to be productive. Or impressive. Or self-improving.

If it helps you feel more you, it counts.

Your nervous system already knows what brings relief. Your only job is to notice—and do more of it, little by little.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Indulge in Joy

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge that things are hard right now. Financial stress, political unrest, attacks on women’s rights—these challenges are very real. It’s okay to notice that. In fact, it’s imperative to allow yourself joy alongside all of it. Joy is not a luxury. It can coexist with difficulty. It is your birthright.

Most women already know what makes them happy—they just don’t give themselves permission to enjoy it.

Permission to rest before earning it. Permission to do something just because it feels good. Permission to repeat what works instead of always chasing the next big thing.

Culturally, we treat joy like a reward:

Once I’m more organized… Once I lose weight… Once things calm down… Once I finally figure myself out… then I can enjoy life.

But here’s the truth: increasing your joy isn’t about waiting until things are perfect to give into it. It’s about doing more of what already works.

Making a little more room for joy in your life might look like:

• Saying no to an obligation so you can say yes to something that lights you up

• Scheduling downtime the way you’d schedule a meeting (yes, seriously)

• Letting joy be small, quiet, and unspectacular—and still enough

Joy doesn’t need optimizing. It just needs a little protection—and a lot of permission.

3. Let Joy Be Imperfect

Many women unintentionally block joy with perfectionism.

“If I can’t do it fully, why bother?” “If it won’t last, what’s the point?” “If I can’t enjoy it the right way, I won't do it at all."

But joy doesn’t require ideal conditions.

Five minutes still counts. Half-present still counts. Enjoyment mixed with stress still counts.

Joy is not all-or-nothing. It’s something your body practices recognizing over time.

4. Still Not Sure Where to Start? Try These Joy-Cultivating Exercises

These little prompts and experiments help you notice, invite, and protect more moments that make you feel like you.

1. The Mini Joy Inventory. Take 5–10 minutes to list:

• People who make you feel alive

• Activities that make time fly

• Small things that soothe or delight your senses

Then pick one to actually do this week. Bonus points if it’s something that feels silly or indulgent.

2. Permission Slip. Write yourself a literal or mental note that says:

“I give myself permission to do this just for fun. No explanation needed.”

It can be anything—watching a truly ridiculous TV show, dancing in your kitchen, crocheting something that looks like crap. Sign it. Seal it. Own it.

3. Spot the Relief. Throughout the day, notice moments when your body softens. Your jaw unclenches, your breath eases, or you smile for seemingly no reason. Journal them in one sentence. Example:

“That hot shower felt like a tiny vacation.”

Over time, you’ll notice patterns and can invite these moments more intentionally.

4. Joyful Micro-Adventures. If you're having trouble naming things you already do that feel joyful, add one thing to your calendar this week that sparks curiosity or novelty—walk a different route, try a new coffee, read something totally random. Joy can be found in surprising ourselves with delighting in something new.

5. Let Joy Be Messy, Inconsistent, and Imperfect

Some days joy will feel easy. Some days it won’t show up at all.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

Joy isn’t a permanent emotional state—it’s a relationship. One that shifts with grief, stress, hormones, seasons, and life.

The goal isn’t constant happiness. The goal is creating more moments where your body feels safe enough to exhale.

A New Year That Feels Like You

This year doesn’t need to be louder, busier, or more impressive.

It can be quieter. Softer. More honest.

A year built on noticing what already nourishes you—and choosing it more often—isn’t lazy or unambitious.

It’s regulating. It’s sustainable. And it’s deeply humanizing.

Want Support in Increasing Your Joy?

At Her Time Therapy, we work with women who are tired of striving and ready to feel more present, regulated, and connected to themselves.

Therapy can be a space to:

• Identify what truly nourishes you

• Untangle guilt around rest and pleasure

• Learn how to listen to your nervous system

• Create a life that feels sustainable—not just successful

If you’re ready for support that honors who you already are, we’re here.

Call/Text (303) 900-8225 | info@hertimetherapy.com | www.hertimetherapy.com

About the Author

Lauren Veazey, MA, LPCC, NCC, is a Licensed Professional Counseling Candidate at Her Time Therapy, PLLC, a group therapy practice specializing in teletherapy for women. A mom of two with a particular passion for working with the perinatal and postpartum population, busy/overwhelmed women, and those experiencing grief, she believes in the healing power of therapy for women to love themselves, trust themselves, and know themselves.

*Disclaimer: This blog does not provide medical advice and the information contained herein is for informational purposes only. This blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a licensed health provider before undertaking a new treatment or health care regimen. 

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