In today’s society, many women struggle with eating anxiety, body image issues, and a deep-seated fear of weight gain. These feelings can create a complex, often harmful relationship with food and fitness, deeply impacting physical and emotional well-being. I know this first hand because I’ve been there.
For years, I was trapped in a cycle of restrictive eating, binge eating, and punishing workouts, all fueled by a fear of gaining weight. But over time, I learned to free myself from these patterns and cultivate a healthy, balanced relationship with food and exercise. My hope is that by sharing my story, I can offer insight and hope to others who may be struggling with similar challenges.
My Journey With Eating Anxiety, Body Image, and Binge Eating
From a young age, I felt a strong pressure to look a certain way. As I grew older, this pressure intensified, leading me to focus on my weight and body image. I became hyper-focused on being thin, convinced that this would make me more attractive, successful, and worthy.
In my late teens and early twenties, I developed strict diet and exercise routines in an attempt to maintain control. I would count every calorie, avoid entire food groups, and use exercise as a form of punishment rather than a source of enjoyment. I thought this rigid control would lead to happiness. In reality, it only created a deeper sense of anxiety and obsession. My relationship with food became highly strained, and I lived in constant fear of gaining weight.
One of the most difficult parts of this experience was the cycle of binge eating. Despite having a strong foundation in health and nutrition, both from growing up with a dietician mother and earning an undergraduate degree in exercise physiology, I struggled with binge eating and disordered eating patterns.
Working as a personal trainer and health coach, I was supposed to embody health and fitness, but I faced an internal battle that felt at odds with my professional identity. It was a difficult contradiction—knowing all the “right” things about food and exercise, yet still feeling overwhelmed by disordered behaviors.
Despite my attempts to restrict my food intake, there were times when I couldn’t sustain the deprivation any longer. I’d give in to cravings and overeat, consuming large amounts of food in a short period of time. The binge episodes would leave me feeling ashamed and out of control. I would then vow to "do better" by tightening my restrictions even further, which only set me up for another binge.
This vicious cycle of restrict, binge, repeat continued for years, leaving me feeling exhausted and disconnected from my body. This experience taught me that knowledge alone isn’t always enough to overcome personal challenges, especially when emotions and control are involved.
I’m not alone in this. Research from the National Alliance for Eating Disorders (NAED) shows that an estimated 30-40% of people who seek weight loss treatments struggle with binge eating disorder (BED), and many more experience cycles of binge eating without a formal diagnosis.
This pattern is particularly common among individuals who engage in restrictive dieting, as the body and mind eventually rebel against deprivation. In fact, BED is the most common eating disorder in the U.S., and its impact on physical and emotional health is significant.
The Fear of Weight Gain
The underlying force driving my binge-restrict cycle was a deep-seated fear of weight gain. I had internalized the belief that gaining weight would mean failure—failure to be disciplined or worthy. Every pound on the scale felt like a loss of control, and this fear pushed me to take more drastic measures with my diet and exercise. This fear was not only irrational but also deeply rooted in societal pressures.
Like many women, I felt that my value was tied to the size of my body, and this belief led to an unhealthy obsession with controlling my weight at all costs.
I wasn’t alone in this fear either. Studies from The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) have found that 69-84% of women experience body dissatisfaction, desiring to be a lower weight than they currently are and many engage in harmful behaviors to avoid weight gain. The pressure to conform to an unrealistic beauty standard is a major driver of these issues.
The Turning Point: Breaking Free from Binge Eating and Food Anxiety
For most of my life, I avoided dealing with difficult emotions like fear, anger, and sadness. Instead of facing them, I focused on controlling my food intake. Restricting gave me a false sense of power when everything else felt overwhelming, but this deprivation eventually led to binging. Each binge brought shame and guilt, leaving me desperate to regain control, and the cycle continued.
My turning point came when I hit an emotional and physical low. Despite my efforts to
control food, I was miserable. The binge-restrict cycle left me exhausted, both mentally and physically. It was clear that I needed help.
Starting therapy was a crucial step. Working with a therapist provided me with the same care and support I had always offered my personal training and health coaching clients. It helped me understand that my need for control wasn’t truly about food—it was about avoiding emotions I didn’t know how to handle.
As I began to face these emotions with professional guidance, the cycle of binging and restricting gradually lost its grip. It wasn’t an easy process, but I learned that control wasn’t the solution. Confronting and addressing my emotions was the key for me to reduce anxiety around weight gain.
How You Can Overcome Eating Anxiety and Build a Positive Relationship with Food
If you’re struggling with eating anxiety, binge eating, and body image issues, you’re not alone. Healing takes time, but it’s possible to develop a healthier relationship with food, fitness, and your body. Here are a few steps that helped me along the way and may help you too:
Challenge Your Fear of Weight Gain
The fear of weight gain can keep you trapped in a cycle of control, restriction, and binge eating. One of the first steps in healing is addressing the fear of weight gain. Ask yourself: where does this fear come from? Is it based on health concerns, or is it rooted in societal expectations and beauty standards? For me, I realized that my fear was largely tied to how I thought others would perceive me, rather than any real health risks.
Studies show that weight isn’t the only indicator of health; in fact, a person’s overall lifestyle habits—such as eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and managing stress—are far more important than their weight alone. By shifting my focus from controlling my weight to improving my overall well-being, I was able to let go of some of that fear.
Break the Binge-Restrict Cycle
Breaking the binge-restrict cycle required me to stop seeing food as the enemy and to let go of the idea that certain foods were “bad” or “off-limits.” When I allowed all foods to be part of my diet—yes, even the ones I had once feared—I found that my cravings for those foods lessened, and the urge to binge diminished. By giving myself permission to eat what I wanted without guilt, I began to feel more in control of my eating. The urge to binge diminished when I stopped restricting.
If you’re struggling with binge eating, consider working with a professional who can help you identify and explore the emotional triggers that lead to overeating. Binge eating is often a response to stress, loneliness, or emotional discomfort, and addressing those underlying issues is key to breaking the cycle.
Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion played a critical role in my healing journey. After years of harsh self-criticism, I learned to treat myself with kindness, especially after eating more than I intended or feeling anxious about my body.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, emphasizes that treating ourselves with kindness in moments of failure or difficulty can help reduce anxiety and promote emotional resilience. Dr. Neff's research shows that self-compassion involves three core elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. By embracing these principles, I shifted from self-criticism to a more compassionate stance, learning to view my challenges as part of a shared human experience rather than a personal failing.
I began to approach setbacks with curiosity rather than judgment. For instance, when a binge occurred, I reframed the experience as an opportunity for learning rather than a reason for self-reproach. Rather than beating yourself up for a binge, try to approach it with curiosity: What led to this? What can I do differently next time?
Embrace Intuitive Eating
One of the most powerful tools for breaking free from eating anxiety and binge eating is intuitive eating. Instead of labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and trying to restrict certain items, I learned to listen to my body and trust its signals. I ate when I was hungry. I stopped eating when I was full. This sounds simple, but after years of ignoring my body’s cues, it took time to rebuild that trust.
Research shows that intuitive eating can reduce the risk of disordered eating behaviors, including binge eating, and promote a more positive body image. It also allows you to enjoy food without guilt or anxiety, which is a key part of developing a healthier relationship with eating.
Building a Healthy Relationship with Fitness
As part of my healing journey, I also reevaluated my relationship with fitness. For years, I had used exercise as a way to punish myself for eating or to control my weight. As I worked through my anxiety around weight gain, I began to approach fitness with a new mindset. Here are a few strategies that have helped me and may help you, too.
Find Joy in Movement
One of the most important shifts I made in my recovery was reframing my relationship with exercise. For years, I used exercise as a way to “burn off” food or punish myself after overeating. But this approach made working out feel like a chore rather than something I enjoyed. Rather than viewing exercise as a tool for weight control, I began to explore movement in ways that brought me joy.
I discovered that I loved hiking outdoors in nature and rock climbing, activities that felt like
they celebrated my strength and abilities rather than an obligation. Exercise became less about changing my body and more about feeling strong, energized, and connected to myself.
When you focus on finding movement that makes you feel good—whether it’s dancing in your living room, yoga, swimming, or cycling—you can create a healthier and more sustainable relationship with exercise.
Take Rest Days Without Guilt
Rest days used to fill me with guilt, as if I were “falling behind”. But over time, I realized that rest is just as crucial as the workouts themselves. Our bodies need time to recover, and skipping rest days can lead to burnout and injury. Even professional athletes schedule regular rest days to allow their muscles to repair and grow stronger. When I finally embraced rest without feeling guilty, I noticed that I enjoyed my workouts more and felt stronger overall. It turns out that taking breaks is not a setback but a key part of a balanced fitness routine.
Embracing rest days also positively impacts mental well-being. Regular breaks from intense physical activity help reduce stress and prevent burnout. For instance, incorporating lighter activities like walking or yoga on rest days can aid in relaxation and boost mental clarity.
By giving myself permission to rest, I found that my enthusiasm for exercise was renewed, and I felt a more profound sense of strength and balance. Viewing rest days as a vital part of self-care has transformed my approach to fitness, making it more sustainable and enjoyable.
Focus on How You Feel, Not How You Look
One of the most liberating changes I made was shifting my focus from how I looked to how I felt. I began to ask myself how different types of exercise impacted my mood rather than just concentrating on the number of calories burned or how my body appeared in workout clothes.
For example, I noticed that going for a neighborhood walk on my lunch break had a profound effect on my mood and overall sense of well-being. These activities didn’t just provide physical benefits—they also lifted my spirits and gave me a renewed sense of energy and clarity.
By prioritizing my health and well-being over aesthetics, I started to appreciate my body for what it could do rather than merely how it looked.
This new perspective allowed me to connect with my body in a more meaningful way, finding joy in its capabilities and resilience. Embracing this approach has been a journey of rediscovery and has significantly improved my overall sense of satisfaction and happiness.
Final Thoughts: From Fear to Freedom
The journey from fear to freedom isn’t always easy, but it’s worth every step. By addressing eating anxiety, overcoming binge eating, and letting go of the fear of weight gain, you can cultivate a positive relationship with food and fitness. It’s possible to feel confident in your body, enjoy the foods you love without guilt, and move your body in ways that bring you joy.
If you’re struggling, know that you don’t have to do it alone.
Whether it’s through therapy, a support group, or confiding in loved ones, seeking help can make all the difference. Remember, your worth isn’t defined by your body size or the food you eat. True freedom comes from nurturing yourself—mind, body, and spirit. You deserve that freedom, and it’s within reach.
Are you struggling to implement these strategies on your own? Her Time Therapy is an integrative group counseling practice comprised of licensed therapists in Colorado who specialize in providing convenient and empowering online therapy for women.
You can feel confident working with a Her Time therapist because we recognize that women like you experience a unique set of biological, environmental, economic, and social challenges that have a real impact on your mental health that is deserving of specialized support to help you explore your relationship with yourself.
If you're on the path to nurturing a positive body image, transforming your relationship with food, and elevating your self-esteem, we invite you to contact us to get matched with a therapist dedicated to guiding you through practical strategies for self-acceptance and building confidence. Reach out for a free consultation today!
Call/Text (720) 255-1667 | info@hertimetherapy.com | www.hertimetherapy.com
Cherie Couvillon is a Clinical Mental Health Graduate Student Intern offering affordable counseling services to Her Time Therapy Clients under the supervision of Meagan Clark, MA LPC NCC BC-TMH, and Adams State University professors. Cherie is passionate about serving those struggling with anxiety, depression, and women’s issues, such as low self-esteem due to societal or familial expectations, daily stressors, and life transitions.
*Disclaimer: This blog does not provide medical advice and the information contained herein is for informational purposes only. This blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a licensed health provider before undertaking a new treatment or health care regimen.
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