Deciding to buy or sell a home always comes with a certain level of stress. Questions such as: is now the right time, am I accepting the best offer, and is this the right property, can permeate our thoughts and keep us up at night. Trying to buy or sell a home in a seller's market with lots of competition, bidding wars, and rising interest rates only make these questions and the pressure you may be feeling more intense. Here are a few therapist-approved tips to help reduce stress levels while buying or selling a home.
Reflect on Your Values and Motivation for Buying or Selling
One surefire way to increase mental and emotional distress is to make decisions or take action that is not in line with your values. Are you a digital nomad seeking travel adventures but are seeking to buy a five-bedroom house in suburbia that requires a lot of attention and upkeep? Do you dream of living in the countryside surrounded by gardens and quiet solitude but are looking to buy a high-rise apartment in the middle of downtown Denver?
These are great examples of situations where a buyer is considering a property that isn’t in line with their values or vision for their life. The digital nomad may look at the house in the suburb because their family expects them to “settle down” and the country dreamer may look downtown because they feel stuck in a job they hate. If external motivations, rather than personal values, are in the driver's seat and motivating your decisions, then you are likely to have internal conflict and high-stress levels.
There is nothing more personal than the property in which you choose to live your life. Your home should be a reflection of you and the values, hopes, and dreams you have for yourself and your family. Therefore, to eliminate the stress that comes from a conflict between your values and the actions you take when buying or selling a property, try the following:
Write a list of values you hold related to your living situation and lifestyle.
Consider the question: Is the property you’re looking to buy or sell aligned with your values? If not, what is motivating you?
Use a Decision-Making Model to Build Confidence in Your Choice
Following a decision-making model is a proven approach to increase the likelihood of making a choice you’ll be satisfied with long term. If you feel a potential sale or purchase is in line with your values, but you’re still lacking the confidence to move forward, progress through the following steps:
Identify and define the decision you are trying to make.
Gather all relevant information that you can about the decision.
Identify any and all alternatives to the decision.
Weigh the evidence by making a pro/con list for each option.
Choose the best alternative based on your evaluation.
Take action!
Review your decision and its consequences to help promote confidence for future decisions.
Work With a Qualified Real Estate Agent Who You Trust
To buy or sell a property, you must progress through several steps, many of which come with legal documents and timelines. Especially as a first-time home buyer, this process can feel overwhelming and confusing. Property transactions also come with large sums of money being promised and transferred between parties. Since buying a home is often the largest purchase a person will make in their lifetime, the financial component naturally adds to the importance and severity of stress felt throughout the process. To successfully navigate buying or selling your home, it is critical to work with a real estate professional who you trust and who has the experience to guide and advise you at each step.
There are thousands of real estate agents in every state, so how do you find the right one? First, remember that your agent works for you. They are your advocate and guide, so you can, and should, interview a few agents who specialize in the type of property transaction you’re looking to navigate. Pay attention to how each agent communicates and how they make you feel and consider the following questions as you are vetting agents:
Do they come across as knowledgeable and have appropriate credentials?
Do they understand what you are looking for and need from them?
Do they know your location and have a record of successful transactions in your community?
Do they have positive references?
Do they feel like a supportive ally?
Remember, your real estate agent will have access to a good deal of personal and financial information about you, so only sign with the one you trust and are confident will work with your best interests in mind.
Work With a Therapist Through the Real Estate Process
If you are still struggling with the decision to move forward on buying or selling a property or could use extra support through the months-long process, working with a therapist can be beneficial. Real estate transactions can be overwhelming, so remember you can get counseling for stress management and you do not need to suffer from a diagnosable mental illness to benefit from therapy. A licensed therapist is an objective party that can provide space to help you identify your core values and build the confidence or coping skills needed to act in your own best interests and achieve your goals.
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About Her Time Therapy, LLC
We are an integrative group counseling practice based in Denver and are composed of highly trained therapists who specialize in providing convenient and empowering online mental health counseling services for women. If you are not sure how to apply the advice shared here in your own life or are struggling with a different issue, contact us and schedule a free consultation call with a licensed therapist.
Call/Text (720) 255-1667 | info@hertimetherapy.com | www.hertimetherapy.com
About the Author
Meagan Clark, MA LPC NCC BC-TMH is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Clinical Director of Her Time Therapy, LLC, a group counseling practice specializing in teletherapy for women. She received her Master of Arts degree in School and Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Adams State University and is a Board Certified Telemental Health Provider and Nationally Certified Counselor. As a women's therapist, Meagan specializes in working with female-identifying teens and adults who suffer from trauma, relationship issues, anxiety, depression, grief, and women’s issues. She is also a Certified Holistic Cancer coach and supports cancer patients and caregivers. Meagan believes strongly in the empowering nature of integrative and feminist therapy to give women (and men) the knowledge and tools they need to navigate gender-based oppression, increase resiliency, and empower themselves to create a life they love.